I love the summertime. My gardening is flourishing — well, as much as it ever does given the amount of sun it gets. (peas, beans, tomatoes, so far with cucs and yellow squash just coming in) The days are warm, and the nights are cool. The pool at Millhouse Lodge is open, heated and they let us swim there. The best way to have a pool — someone else gets to keep it clean.
And yet, I also realize that not everyone has such a great life. Many people are struggling. They’re in conflict with their loved ones, or they feel like they don’t have anyone who cares. Or they hate their job, or just lost their job, or haven’t had one for months.
People find their way everyday to Life On Purpose searching for help — for relief from their pain, for a way to bring more purpose and meaning to their life. I’m honored — indeed humbled that they give me an opportunity to be of service, and in so doing, they give me the opportunity to express my life purpose in a very deep and profound way.
And yet, many people stay stuck in their life. They continue to suffer, to drift through their life, stay in a job too small for their soul. They really do want to change, to heal, to move on with their life…but something holds them back.
And that’s what today’s article is about.
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LIVING ON PURPOSE: The Catch-22 of Transforming Your Life
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You know it’s time to make some changes. You’ve known it for awhile now. Your life has been somewhere between spiraling down and stuck. Change is in the air. You feel it…and feel it…and feel it.
Perhaps its money. There’s never enough. Each month there’s this tightness around your chest as you go to pay your bills, wondering if you’ll have enough in your bank account to cover them all, and once again you don’t…not quite, so you cover the difference with a credit card that is rapidly approaching the limit.
Or perhaps if your job. It’s become, well, boring — the same ol’ same ol’ day in and day out. And that boss of yours…please, if he would just give you a break and get off your back. But deep inside you know it’s time for a change anyway.
Or perhaps it’s life in general. You get up, go to work, stay until 7 or 8, then drag yourself home, eat dinner, watch a little mind numbing TV, as you have your third beer, fall asleep on the couch, drag yourself to bed then do it all over again the next day. Talk about boring. But what else is there?
Plenty…and you know it. You know you’re missing the boat, which is why it’s time for a change, right? So, why doesn’t it happen?
You’re caught in the Catch-22 of transformation.
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What Doesn’t Work
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Here are some of the common approaches that don’t work that I’ve witnessed myself and others have used in an attempt to escape this Catch-22:
1. Trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. Most of us know that this is a classic definition of insanity but still it’s really easy to get trapped here.
2. Ignoring the issue(s) in the hope they’ll go away. This seldom works in the long run and only perpetuates the stuckness.
3. Become numb to the issues. Another way to ignore the issues is to numb ourselves in any of a number of ways including: over-indulging in alcohol and/or drugs, incessant tv, internet surfing or video games, and perhaps one of the most common yet often missed numbing approaches — working, working, working, or just stay overly busy whether it’s a work or not.
4. Complaining about it to yourself and others but with no commitment to take action.
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Escaping the Catch-22
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So what does work? Well, it’s helpful to first acknowledge that there is this Catch-22 and that change, significant change that would merit being called transformational isn’t easy.
It takes courage, tenacity, commitment and a willingness to step beyond your comfort zone, sometimes well beyond.
And, the truth me known, there are a number of things that can work. Let’s focus on just one for now.
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Replacing Off Purpose Patterns with On Purpose Pattern
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Of course, it’s helpful to know what your life purpose is to work with this approach but that’s not what this article is about so let’s see how we can work around this for the moment.
An ‘off purpose pattern’ is some activity that you engage in on a regular basis that stems from either fear, or a sense of lack, and that results in struggle and effort that don’t produce much if any change. Sound familiar? Look at the list above. Those are just some of the off purpose patterns that can keep you stuck in Catch-22 Land.
So, an ‘on purpose pattern’ is another activity that you can engage in that arises from a different place — from your true Self — from that realm of Universal Love, from an experience of possibility and prosperity, and a willingness to swing out into the flow of life again.
Read those two paragraphs again and feel the difference in those two places. That shift in thinking, feeling and experiencing is key to moving forward and escaping the gravitational pull of Catch-22 Land.
BTW — This tool for living on purpose — replacing off purpose patterns with on purpose patterns — is outlined in details in Life On Purpose: Six Passages to an Inspire Life which is part of the Home Study Course.
Imagine, identifying just one off purpose pattern, say every 30 or 60 days, and replacing it with an on purpose pattern. What would you like be like in a year? Would ‘unrecognizable’ come close?
You really don’t need to stay stuck in Catch-22 Land. And this is coming from someone who really does know. Who stayed stuck so long that it looked like the only way out was by taking my own life.
You don’t have to stay stuck. I affirm that you have the courage, tenacity, commitment and a willingness to step beyond your comfort zone and to live a life on purpose.
NOTE: I’d love to hear what you think. Do you agree, disagree, have a question or comment? Let’s discuss it here. Leave your comments.